10 Mar 2022by taliatuck
A Blog All About…My Skin?
My second blog is going to be about something sort of random, but it’s on my mind today because I went to the dermatologist.
I’ll set the scene for you.
I’m doing my K-beauty skincare routine. My skin has been looking the best it has ever looked since before puberty decided to add mountain ranges of topography to my biracial, hyperpigmentation-prone skin. I’m not going to sit here and say I had the worst acne in the world, because I’ve seen horrible, scarring cystic acne that looked far more painful than mine. I will say that my acne was all over my face, chest, back, and left terrible dark spots until I looked like some kind of pixilated horror show.
Fast forward to last week when I started having breakouts on one side of my face. There was no explanation for it. I don’t sleep on that side of my face because I have an earful of piercings that don’t like when I sleep on them, and I’ve been under some stress, but I wouldn’t say I strayed too far from my baseline. When a cyst, and I believe the technical term for the size is “big as hell”, popped up on my cheek, I decided to go to the dermatologist.
Answering all the intake questions, I felt so judged. I told the nice technician I wasn’t on any medications for my acne and hadn’t been in about ten years. I told them I have had acne for about 20 years, and I’d tried a myriad of things, but I guess I wasn’t clear on the fact that I wasn’t that concerned with my acne. I only was concerned with this cyst on my cheek.
The Nurse Practitioner then came in and had such a militant attitude toward my acne as I had a few active pimples. A few from wearing a mask and maybe one or two on my neck and back. I found myself getting really protective of the little uninvited guests on my body. And in this short, 15-minute appointment, I realized that I don’t care that I have acne. I don’t even care that I have scars from it. Do I want to lighten some of the ones on my back and face? Sure. But it is definitely not a cause of any major self-image issues or insecurities.
Don’t get me wrong. I was when I was a teenager, even throughout most of my 20s. I saved up for Proactiv, tried Aspirin paste, rubbing alcohol, Listerine, toothpaste, prescription medication. You name it, I tried it. When all of that failed, I just covered it up with pounds of makeup. Remember, I was a teenager in the early 2000s when makeup companies didn’t make concealer or foundation to match my skin tone. I had to blend brands and get all Walter White just to (poorly) cover up these blemishes and spots all over my face. It got to the point where I wouldn’t even run to the mailbox without having a full face on.
But now? I could care less. I do still breakout but I do consider myself to be someone with clear skin. I wear makeup maybe twice per fiscal quarter, but other than that, my constellation of scars is on full display.
Even when I do wear makeup, I wear the sheerest coverage possible. I tend to like the Korean glass skin look with light cushion foundation and I don’t typically use concealer because I want my little spots to show through. I find acne scars really charming. They look youthful and let people know you’ve been through a few things.
I don’t really know what the point of this blog post was. Maybe I was feeling a bit spicy because it’s Women’s History Month. Who knows? I’m not trying to tell anyone to love or accept themselves because that kind of prescriptive nonsense pisses me off. I guess I’m just trying to say that there is at least one person out there (me) who thinks your scars are cute. Call me 😉
Lol, okay, let me get out of here.
Happy Women’s History Month, Happy Min Yoongi March 🐱 , and Happy whatever the hell else. Remember to always wear sunscreen!